How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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