So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
