Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
