Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
