Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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