I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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