You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
and she was petting her beer can
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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