the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
