I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
