this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
whose ass print is on the piano?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
