Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I need water and some morals
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize