Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
