you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
