PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
