so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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