Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
And then my night got REAL pukey
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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