I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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