You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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