i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
