Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
