Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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