I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
what day is it and did you see me today?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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