last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
