He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
