what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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