i don't like sucking hair
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
