Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I didn't notice because vodka
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
