I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
