i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
