): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Randomize
