Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
