We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
