remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize