BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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