you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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