I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
why do cheetos always look like penises
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize