I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Randomize
