I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I've blown a few things in my day
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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