i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Hello my rib-scented angel!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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