Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Im just a social blackout drinker.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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