I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
