rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
