So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just found a bag of teeth...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
