Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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