he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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