Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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