can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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