Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
