yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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