Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
try to milk me bitch
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
