Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Green mimosas i think yes
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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