Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I think my vagina is haunted
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
