I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Sober January is a disaster.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
