please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
