Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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