I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
