I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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