$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
