yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
