Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
