You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
