you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
