Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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