I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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