i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
