Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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