I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
